Doomsday

Boston, MA, May 2013

Boston, MA, May 2013

The first time I experienced symptoms of the quarter-life crisis was on graduation day. I woke up with an agonizing hangover...and I continued to tango with the toilet throughout the commencement ceremony. Among the thousands of other graduates in my class, I definitely stood out...not in a good way. My beautifully decorated graduation cap and red gown cat-walked up and down that arena in a not-so glamorous manner. Besides our speakers, Judy Smith (the real Olivia Pope) and Morgan Freeman (the actual voice of God), I was the center of attention. Luckily, I held myself together enough to walk up on that stage and receive my $50,000 empty envelope that signified the fact that I am now an adult.

You would think that Morgan Freeman's voice drowning out the sound of my pitiful prayers to the porcelain God would be a wake-up call. Or maybe just the expression on my parents’ face as I continued to race to the bathroom would do it. Well, needless to say, that day was an aggressive tap on the shoulder telling me to get my shit together. 

Following my humiliating graduation side show, I came to the realization that I now had to move out of my college apartment. This apartment was everything. It was the place I had been living for the last 3 years with my 7 best friends from college. It was our home. Yes, it was a sh*t hole apartment in the college ghetto, but we made it feel like home with family meals, movie nights, epic pregames, and an unfathomable amount of love. I was surrounded by this crew of girls throughout my entire college experience. We met the first week of college, moved in together sophomore year, and the rest is history. As soon as I realized this wasn't going to be home anymore, panic struck. I felt like my whole world was crumbling down. My solid foundation–my home, my hood, my friends, and my life were gone!

After moving my life out of that apartment, leaving my best friends and memories behind, I felt completely lost. While most people find graduation day to be one of the most turnkey, exciting, monumental times of their life, it felt like doomsday to me.

The questions of "What are you going to do?," "Where are you going to live?," "Did you find a job yet?," and "Do you have a boyfriend?" continue to haunt me to this day. Pressure to get a job, find a place to live, and figure out who to live with were just the beginning of worries I had. And, I still have the same worries today.

We're taught in college that once we graduate from this fabulous university we'll find our dream career, make a ton of money, and live in our dream city with our best friends, where we'll fall in love and live happily ever after! We'll have it all; everything will magically happen. No need to worry! Well it's safe to say that's a bunch of bullshit. Following my graduation, from my prestigious university, I had an empty envelope, an empty stomach, and a head full of worries.

I guess life was just saying, "Welcome to the quarter life!"